Yes, Mother's Day has come and gone. And yes, I did not post any blogs around the day itself. But I've come to embrace the cliche: "Better late than never!" :) (Procrastination is one of my most prominent faults, if you haven't noticed.)
Last year the day slipped by uncelebrated on my blog, and I regretted it. I wrote up blog drafts in my head (I'm constantly composing blogs, songs, and stories/books throughout the day, especially while cleaning our church, mowing lawn, and doing mindless tasks - and yes, I am weird) and envisioned what it would look like, but I failed to actually do it.
This year I am resolved to at least say a few words.
When I think of her, I smile. I hear her contagious laughter. I think of her funny stories. I remember all the interesting situations we've been through together. I think of all her blunt comments that she's not afraid to say.
Ah yes, the memories...
Fixing my hair for dance recitals...Setting a pizza aflame while on the phone with Dad...Pruning lilac bushes...Rocking crying babies to sleep...Helping us with school...Trying to teach me to how to count notes and play piano...Watching her emulate Signature Sound dance moves and figuring out how to choreograph one of our songs...Teaching me the right way to clean a bathroom...Seeing her cry when she felt like she couldn't go on...Persevering through heartbreak after heartbreak...Lying extremely ill on a hospital bed...Standing firm for the truth when no one else would...Listening to her rich alto voice, thinking she was better than Amy Grant and wondering why she didn't sing with Rich Mullins and Michael W. Smith...Singing "If We Never Meet Again" for one of the first times together...
Most of all, I remember these teenage years, the time I've needed her the most. Tears running down my face, rebellious feelings welling up inside, angry retorts spewing from my mouth, confusion about life, faith, and family, repentence and guilt...all these have come from me. And Mom has been there. We have had many heated conversations as my strong-will and her strong-will have often collided (with me being in fault, by the way!). There were times I doubted her love because I felt like a failure in everything, but time after time was proven wrong by her unconditional love.
She has pointed out my faults and inspired me to be better - to strive for godly ways. She has warned me of the pitfalls on the road of life and encouraged me to walk on holy highways. She has reminded me of my commitments and urged me to live as a godly young woman. Many times she has come alongside of me to inspire me, comfort me, and walk with me.
For an example of her teaching and relevant life's lessons, here's one of the most compelling lessons she has taught me (it's from several years ago, so please don't mind my poor writing/typos!): The Wheelbarrow Story. I am grateful for her teaching.
I have observed her for years making sacrifice after sacrifice for us kids. She selflessly says, "Oh, I don't want one" whenever there isn't enough dessert to go around. She demonstrates her love to us by serving through cleaning, care, and coaching. I am grateful for her sacrifice and servant attitude.
Several years ago I remember listening to her patiently helping Caleb with his school and thinking, "Wow, I would have lost it by now. She is so patient. I need to be like that." I am grateful for her patience.
She has boldly stood for truth when others may have been shy to take a stand. She reads God's Word and applies it to her daily life. Every day for as long as I can remember she has held daily devotions with us kids at the breakfast table and we have all explored God's Word through and through many times together. She openly struggles when she doesn't know what to do when confronted with stress and hard trials, and openly searches God's Word for guidance. I am grateful for her faith and faithfulness.
I have gone from fearing her as my worst critic (for years I hated - yes, I used the word "hated" - criticism and rebuke, but now have learned to embrace it as my dearest friend) to be my role model and source of encouragement. I can now say with confidence: I want to be a mom like her.
Well, I have become rather rambly, as usual. I love my mother more than ever and appreciate her more and more with each passing day. Yes, she is not perfect, but she lives as a sinner saved by grace. I am grateful for my mother.
I love you, Mom!